"I Am My Father's Only Living Son and Will Be 'Til I Die"
Brothers and Sisters, my name is Matt Bastardson and if you've never seen my show before, well you're in good company. Many fine people from all around this world have never seen my show. I haven't won any awards much less been nominated for any. No gold records I'm aware of and not one induction to any halls of fame. I consistently have fewer than 10 monthly listeners on Spotify and all my singles show <1,000 plays and I only have 15 YouTube subscribers.
I come to you from Pontiac, Michigan... you might have heard of us, we used to make cars here. Now we just make trouble and brother business is good. I'm a songwriter and that's a terrible business plan if your plan is to be in business and simultaneously make money. Lucky for me my plan was just to write songs and sing 'em for you good folks and get my own mind straight in the process. With any luck, maybe one of them tunes I penned will help you get your mind straight as well.
I've been doing this for a long time and I suppose I'm just too stubborn to stop. I can't thank you enough for being here and I hope you enjoy the ride...